Let’s discuss both my favorite, and least favorite topic in the world: Women!
I often speak about girls in a cynical, slightly misogynistic way, but I don’t mean it. Well, when I say that girls are insane and impossible to understand, I totally mean it.
But I don’t hate women. On the contrary I love them. They are the only thing that make life worth living, and the only thing worth dying for. They make life wonderful, and they can tear it down just as easily.
I had a girlfriend for just shy of five years. She was the only person who seemed to COMPLETELY understand me, and the only person who I could 100% be myself around. However, when you are in the same relationship for all of high school, and (in her case), half your college career, you understandably might want to experience other people. I get that. So we “took a break.” This is something that I assumed would be temporary. The more I talked to her though, the more I learned that she had more reasons to do this, and wanted it to be far more permanent than I initially thought. For instance, I am, apparently, very selfish, I treat her like an object, and she labeled me and our relationship as “sexually toxic.”
Okay, so I like having sex. A lot. That doesn’t mean that I only utilized her as a sex toy. The problem, I think came from me making sex my only healthy form of stress relief. Self mutilation, drugs, and alcohol are not the best ways to cope, I’m told. I understand that. So playing music and having sex became my only ways of de-stressing. That was a mistake, I realize that. So there’s that.
The other big part was that we wanted to “see other people.” That seemed reasonable enough. But the more I try to do that, the more despondent I get. How could I even come close to finding someone who could really connect with me the way she did? Exactly. But regardless, since January, I have met maybe four or five girls who I am attracted to physically, who seem like people who I can really talk to, and people I just generally enjoyed spending time with. However, even when it seemed like one of them might actually like me, I quickly learn that is not the case, and I embarrass myself.
Now, on to why that might be. Maybe I come off too strong? That’s possible, I’m a guy who wears my heart on my sleeve, and I think it’s pretty easy to tell what I’m thinking. I’m not going to be all self-absorbed and say that I’m honest and that sort of bullshit, I just think that I don’t conceal my emotions very well, or at all. So maybe that scares off some girls. It’s possible.
It could also be physical. I don’t necessarily think I’m hideous, but I wouldn’t call myself “hot,” either. See, girls my age seem to like either strong, built guys, or skinny ones. I’m obviously not either. First off, I’m short. I’m not noticeably short or midget-like, but I’m not tall, either. No girl says “Oh I’m really into short guys.
I guess I’m “broad shouldered,” which I get from my dad, but I’m sure as hell not muscular. So while I may be small, I’m not really small enough to be considered “skinny,” either. I’m actually quite flabby. I have a pudgy face, my skin’s not great, and my hair, no matter what I do, always ends up looking like I live in a monastery. I’m also just a hairy guy in general. Hairy legs, chest, etc. I don’t really know what girls think of that, because I don’t usually parade around naked. Whatever.
So what could I do entice girls?
I like to think I’m nice. Sorta. I mean, I’m not mean or nasty to anyone, even people I don’t like. If I like somebody, I can listen to them talk about nothing for hours and still be completely absorbed. I’m like that.
I have money, girls claim to like rich guys, but whatever. I know how to pick a good restaurant, and I’ll take a girl out to a nice meal, and buy her shit.
I’m also…uh…a good listener?
That’s all I got.
So you can probably see why I’m single.
I think was born in the wrong decade. In the 80’s all you had to do was play guitar and sing a melody, and girls were into you. Period. Girls don’t view leather pants as sexy anymore.
And no girl is gonna want to go out with me because of my extensive comic book collection.
If you have any ideas, or know any girls who are into a guy like me, please share. Otherwise, I’m just going to keep on doing what I’m doing.